Major Venting

So today I am finally realizing that everything I try to do right, always ends up wrong.

Why can't things just.. work out? Why do I have to take the long way around?

This is my first major life fuck up and I am having a hard time cleaning up after it. I never realized how one tiny action can result into a million huge dilemmas!

Why couldn't someone have just said once that "life is fair"? I'm sick of hearing, "Well, no one said life is fair." I get it... it sucks.
Suck it up.
Fuck it!!!!!

I am here to save myself. I didn't even want to. Everyone else wanted me to, they did it. So I said fine, I'll be fair and join you. Know what? I am the only one sticking to it!! Thanks a lot! I could have a good room in a great place with a damn good job that paid well... but no.
Now I am stuck in Utah, with a shitty job that pays less than shit. No one to talk to or hang out with except my family who I appreciate but start to get on my nerves after 2 hours. I still have no car... no liscence... and I am living with my mother again and we are about to slit eachothers throats!!!

Life is fucking wonderful.

I know whats going to happen. I am going to have to get my shit in SC and throw it in storage or give it away, and officially move to Utah. I am going to stay here til Dec. when Rachel, my mom and I leave for uruguay. Working my shitty little job that my grandpa has to drive me to. Then we'll go to Uruguay. Have a blast ( I hope ) and when I come back I will have to figure out what I am going to do next. It's a vicious circle and I want out.

I don't have a Plan B to fall back on because I don't think I even have a Plan A!!!!

I am sick and tired of feeling stuck. Ever since I lost my liscence I have felt stuck and out of control.

Alright, I cannot take anymore of this. The more I type the more furiated I become.

Thats all for now.

To be continued....